Self reflection could be a hazerdous thing. Perhaps.

I don’t think I bother myself so much with who I am, but I have to admit, it bothers me when people write me off without actually understanding me. I have warped thinking processes, yeah. You just have to understand it to understand me.

Yes, I’m cynical. Yes, I’m bitchy. Yeah, I know I really come off as harsh and anti-social 95% of the time. I’m really not though, you’ve just got to understand where I’m coming from.

I am, as a whole, fed up with people. I have been for a very long time, I think. I’m just tired of the petty bullshit. I’m tired of everyone up in everyone else’s business. I’m just fucking tired of people as a whole.

No, I don’t care about stupid little problems. Yes, I will tell you that it’s stupid and petty. But you know something, if you come at me with a real problem, I’ll sit down, listen and try to help. Normally though, I just don’t care. Call it a product of my life if you wish. Of course, anyone who writes me off (which most seem to have) doesn’t know about everything that makes me who I am. They don’t even know a fraction of it.

I’d let them in though, if they wanted. I don’t hide things about my past, but I don’t shout my life story to the rooftops either. People only see what they want to see. They don’t look at the things that factor into how someone is. They don’t care to see the events that have made me bitter, cynical, and generally a bitch.

It’s okay though. I have a handful of people who have. You guys know who you are. And honestly, I don’t know what I would do without you. You’ve been there through the rough shit, you’ve taken the time to know me, the real me, not just what’s on the surface. And that, my friends, is saying something.

So I’ve been gone awhile. Didn’t seem like all that much time, but I guess when you’re busy time passes quickly. So for updates, not that I have too many of them, but hey, somethings better than nothing, yeah?

1. Mike and I are back together. Simplicity in itself, no? That makes for happy times. Very happy times.

2. I had a break from school and work and went on vacation. We went to Disney World, it was cool. Lots of fireworks and such. I like fireworks, they remind me of my childhood. Well, more specifically of my dad. I remember going to watch the fireworks with him every year. Those times made me happy. Course, now I get all teary eyed when I watch fireworks, but it’ s a good teary eyed.

3. Back to the school thing, Got B’s in both my classes, disappointed in the one because it should have been an A, but I didn’t do as well on my final because I was soaking wet and freezing and rushed through it. No one’s fault but my own, but still disappointing. I have yet to register for fall classes, but I’m doing that sometime this week. Not really looking forward to it. School and work at the same time is killing me. I’m tired all the time and never have time to do anything. The fact that it will all be worth it in the end is really the only thing keeping me going. I swear I feel like I could sleep for a month straight.

It’s all good though. I’m happy. For once in a long time. I had a serious breakdown while away, but it did me so good. I got so much that I’ve been holding in for years out. I was waiting for it. I knew all the little breakdowns would give way to a big one where everything came out.