This week has been really, really bad. So to cheer myself up I was looking through some madlibs that Mike and I did. Andddd I came across this one, which I forgot we did and is absolutely freaking hilarious.

my evil plan to take over the world:

I am Dr. homosexual. I am destined to fuck the codpiece. Unfortunately, the codpiece is full of a bunch of fishy gizmos that do not agree. So this is my colorful plan to take over the codpiece:

To start with, I`ll need to build my stupid hideout in an abandoned bed, bath, & beyond complex in the middle of the porn dungeon. It will have 784 underground floor(s), and only 98 floor(s) above ground. All the feathers and chocolate will open fluidly and address me as “The Great and ugly Dr. homosexual”. I will also have several rooms designed for squatting and shitting anyone who tries to sleep me. That is, after I have farted the full extent of my colorful plan to them.

Next, I will hire some turd farmers to design the Robert Downy Jr Buster, a machine designed to trigger huge World Series of Ass Fucking wherever I want it to. And if they don`t want to build it, I will capture their muskrats and threaten to make them working for hours on end. Once it`s built, I will have it hated along the San Andreas skeet.

Mwqueef, queef, queef, queef, queef!

Obviously you bust a nut, I can hold the Governor of Wyoming, Hair Lip Steve, against the threat of nudging 87.6 of the state into the ocean. And once I have control of Wyoming, I will sniff the buick industry into promoting my right to fuck the codpiece, and lovely all will succumb to my litter pan and snobby.

… And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you properly take over the world. Ya heard?

I’m a terrible site owner. I never update.

There really isn’t anything to update. I’m tired, nothing new. Need a nice long break from life.

Maybe. Eventually.

I won site of the month over at Faccia-Bella.Net! Thanks Irene!

So I was over Mike’s house last night and a special came on after the news, concerning the “innocence of children today”. I only watched a portion of it because I ended up getting myself so fired up and angry that I couldn’t watch it anymore. But to get to the gist of it, they’re blaming, get this one guys, VIDEO GAMES and lack of nurture at home.

I am so FUCKING tired of people looking to blame the ignorance of children on something rather then SOMEONE. It’s not video games fault, it’s not lack of nurture, it’s the fucking parents fault. I’ve played violent video games since I was a child, I was 9 when the first Resident Evil game was released and my brother was 5. But do we go out and kill people? No. And you know why, because our parents taught us right from wrong. They taught us to distinguish the difference between video games and reality. No only that, my brother and I were disciplined when we were children. On a regular basis I was spanked with a leather belt. And you know something, yes it hurt. But you know something else, I knew I had done something really bad when my Dad came out of that bedroom snapping that belt in his hands. And you know something else, I was terrified of my parents. I’m still afraid of my mother to a degree. But I also RESPECTED them and others. And I knew they loved me because they took the time to teach me right from wrong. That’s the problem with parents today, everyone has made such a big shit about beating your children that people are afraid to discipline them. What they fail to realize is that there is a difference between child abuse and discipline. Punching your kid is child abuse, spanking them (sometimes with a paddle or a belt) is not abuse. There are no lasting marks. No psychological damage, just a knowledge that after it happened that you had done something wrong and were in trouble for it.

That’s what’s wrong with society today, we’ve got a bunch of little asshole adolescents running around doing whatever they damn well please because their parents couldn’t take the time to actually discipline their kids. Time outs do not work, yelling does not work. You actually have to hit your kids to get them to listen to you as they get older. Because kids get ballsy and when you don’t show them who is boss, they’ll walk all over you and think they can walk all over everyone else.

Of course, for most children it’s too late. They can’t be saved. The parents have ruined them. And you know something else, I don’t think I want to live in this country when they start to run it. They’re going to fuck it up even more then it already is. Of course, parents could take the time to look at their parenting skills and see where they are going wrong instead of trying to lay the blame elsewhere.

And people wonder why most countries hate the Americans. Look at your asshole children and how you’ve taught them to act and treat people, that’s why.